Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy Halloween

What do you use to make hotdogs on October 31st ?

Halloweenies .

Today is daughter's second favourite day of the year, after Christmas but still ahead of her birthday. I think it has to do with the sheer volume and diversity of goods received on Halloween, plus none of them are books or clothes .......... they're all sugar.

We are down to the wire and she still hasn't decided between Goth Vampire or Dead Soccer Player . An earlier plan for a group effort at "Car Crash Sesame Street" fell through and she waited too long to buy supplies to make herself into an I Tunes Card .

Regardless of the final decision tonight will not be about the costume it will be about the booty, how much and what quality the sugar is . The more sours, chocolate bars and Doritos the better at age eleven she can do without the suckers, tootsie rolls and rockets (do they still sell rockets ?).

Daughter and her three BFFs are going solo this year, that is they aren't being accompanied by a parent as they cruise our neighbourhood, it's well lit and there are so many parents out on the street that I'm only mildly paranoid. I'm going to treat it like a marathon and carbo load her around 5pm and then turn them loose and hope for the best. Wife and I will dole out candies to the kiddies and I've a mind to pop over to the boozer and grab some Pumpkin Ale to enhance the festivities.

The U12 Girls Silver Funky Monkeys won today 4-1 to break out of a mild scoring slump, but I fear that Monday's practice may be one without a great deal of focus if the sugar buzz is still rolling.

Friday, October 08, 2010

Proof that Darwin was Right

Recent studies in the United States have discovered that accident rates actually have risen in 75% of the states who have banned texting while driving. The data in this study supports previous findings by the University of Glasgow.

Of course the problem is not that people get in more accidents when not texting, the problem, as explained in the research, is that people are continuing to text while driving. The "driving while texting", or DWT as I shall now refer to them, crowd are however afraid of apprehension so they are holding their texting devices well below the dashboard so as not to be observed texting. This means that they must take their eyes off the road more often to text and thus they are getting in more accidents.

If this is not proof positive of natural selection at work I don't know what is.