So another faux holiday has come and gone, millions of Guinness consumed and innumerable hangovers created to celebrate St. Patrick's Day .
What a crock.
First off the Saint Patrick being feted isn't even real, yes there was a real Saint Patrick but much of the mythology around him is a compilation of him and Palladius, the first bishop of Ireland.
Patrick may, or may not, have died on March 17th 460 AD, or 420 AD, or 493 AD . He may, or may not, be buried at Down Cathedral beside St. Brigid and St. Columba but one thing he didn't do was banish snakes from Ireland - the ice age did that.
In fact most believe the snake banishment is a symbolic banishment if the serpents common in Druid celebrations but try telling that to a drunken Patty .
He's not even exclusive to Ireland for fuck's sake, he's also the patron saint of Nigeria and Montserrat - I mean the guy gets around.
Listen I've got no issues with an excuse for a party but stop asking me why I'm not wearing green and where my shamrock is. I'm not Irish and really do you think that real Irish need any excuse to party ?