Tuesday, June 09, 2015

Putting my toe back in the water

So I'm going to try and start blogging again. If you can endure this little explanatory post I promise to try and keep things lighter as we move forward after today.

My life has changed radically in the past 20 months, none of it for the better, but I think it's time to start writing again. The tone may change as I'm not going to limit myself to food, wine and sports, I may get a little political on occasion but I will continue to write about things that matter to me. Except for the occasions when I just write about things that just strike my whimsy .

As a background, and a bit of catharsis, my wife and partner of over 30 years was diagnosed with inoperable stage IV colon cancer in November of 2012. The cancer was already metastatic, meaning it had spread to other organs and she was very sick but hope, stupid hope, springs eternal and when she responded so positively to the first chemo cocktail we began to believe that she might beat the odds.

She didn't.

The first chemo cocktail ran it's course, the second didn't really have any positive results and my wife passed away in April of 2014, leaving me a widower and a single parent of a fifteen year old daughter. The end came astonishingly fast as my wife was in great spirits, and seemingly decent health, in mid February and dead seven weeks later, so I didn't really have time to process . I ran hard on adrenaline for a few months, spending most of my energy trying to ensure our daughter was not going to fall apart . 

With the fall came a return to school and some semblance of normalcy for daughter and a new job for me. I made the decision to return to management, taking over running lunch at a very good bistro, the money wasn't as good but I would be able to be home by 6pm and be there for daughter, plus the restaurant was great and I enjoyed the change . There was another hitch in October when my mother passed away, but she had been suffering from full blown dementia for a number of years so in some ways it was a blessing. It certainly didn't help my frame of mind but I pushed through and settled into a solid routine, then just before the new year the great little bistro closed it's doors due to partnership disputes among other things.

I am still committed to working days but I have decided to abandon front line restaurant service/management and am currently searching for what I want to be when I grow up, all the while beginning to deal with the reality that I am suffering from depression. Counselling is helping but it's not easy, although at least it's not hard to identify the reason for my condition . The good thing is that I have plenty of time to write, the bad thing is that I have a great deal of difficulty getting motivated to do anything.

So there it is, some back story and a commitment to return to the blogosphere. I'm sure my followers are long gone, if not great but the blog has always been for myself anyway. I'm going to try and post a minimum of twice weekly so be prepared.

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